While I'm Waiting...

WHILE I'M WAITING -John Waller

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I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting ~ I will serve you
While I'm waiting ~ I will worship
While I'm waiting ~ I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Sarah played this song tonight & it pierced my heart.  I have been struggling almost 2 years with my faith and fitness.  Like I have said before, I haven't been consistent with anything in my life during the past 2 years.  

I can't seem to get a hold of my my eating habits or a normal work out routine.  I try and I try and I try again... but I continue to fail time after time.  Since I decided that fitness is the career path I want to follow... it has been 10x harder to do these things.  I can't see myself doing anything else.  But seem to be falling deeper and deeper into a never ending hole.  

What I am getting from this song is... instead of trying to climb out of this hole and continue to fail... to stop... to take a step back... stop trying... stop wasting all this energy... and just praise & worship God.

I feel as though... If I get my relationship with God the right track then everything else will fall into place and work out that it's supposed to.  But how do you fall in love with God?

I've been hurt by a lot of people in my life... especially the two guys that I looked up to the most.  I don't trust people easily anymore.  I feel like God is going to turn out like all those people in my life that have let me down and hurt me.  I'm scared to open up and get close to anyone, because I end up getting hurt.

I've ask God to break my heart for Him... and He JUST did!

But now what do I do?!