Full of emotions

I heard someone say once, "fake it 'til you make it."  My question is... what do you do when you are tired of "faking it," but you haven't "made it" yet?

Today has been full of emotions... stress, anger, annoyance, joy, excitement and anxiety.

Work is explained by the first three emotions.  

Driving to the gym this afternoon I was a bit nervous, because I haven't worked out at the gym all summer.  I was in the middle of my workout on the elliptical and all I could do is smile!  I only did 30 minutes at a slow speed, but it's the beginning of something amazing!  I have a long journey ahead of me... but I think this time it's really going to happen.  *PRAY that it DOES happen this time!! Pray that I do NOT get lazy and apathetic!*

After I came home from the gym I began looking up other companies for my certification.  I think I know who I am going to get my certification from, at least to start off with.  I am so excited to get started studying and everything, but I am so nervous and anxious about the exam and everything that I will forget everything and fail.

Be Strong.

I wrote this about 2 weeks ago...
God has you where you are for a reason.  He has a purpose for you being there.  When that purpose is completed He will move you to the next place that He needs you.  But how do you know you are the place you should be?  How do you know you didn't make a mistake?

God wouldn't have opened this door and it peak my interest if there was not a reason behind it. I wouldn't have taken this job if I didn't think it was going to be a good thing.  I have been there for 2 weeks and it's not what I expected at all.  But there has to be a purpose for me there!

So, why does it hurt so bad to think about saying goodbye to TMF?!  As much as I complained about my job at TMF and how much I wanted out... That's not the case anymore.  I have cried more tears in the last few weeks/days then in a looong time!  And I know it's only going to get harder as these next 2 weeks pass and my days come to an end.


And this is from today....
Well, those 2 weeks have come and end tomorrow.  Tomorrow is my last day at TMF.  I have SO many mixed emotions.  I was doing okay until I left work tonight & realized that was going to be the last time I saw some of those kids.  I hate goodbyes... they are the hardest thing for me!  How do you say goodbye to your family?  Yes, I know they are only 30 minutes away, but it's never going to be the same again.  I miss them, and I haven't even left yet.

I keep thinking about the "what-ifs."  What if I had never seen people posting about XTC on facebook... What if I had not taken vacation that week and heard people talking about the kickboxing class there and the new building and childcare...  What if I had never applied for a job there... What if I had never gotten an interview, but less a job offer... What ifs.. I may never know the answer.  Would I be happy staying at TMF?  Maybe, maybe not.  What I do know is there are some VERY special people there that I am leaving behind! :'(  I wish I could take them all with me, but I can't.  I have to stop thinking about the "what-ifs" and start thinking about the "what-is" now.

None of those kids at TMF will ever remember who I am, but I know I will never forget them and how much they have impacted my life!!


God has a plan.  He has a purpose for me.  I just have to trust that.  Although it's going to be extremely hard tomorrow... God has something amazing He wants to do with my life and I don't think it was going to happen with me staying where I was comfortable.

Being strong doesn't mean you don't cry yourself to sleep.  

It means holding yourself together and doing what needs to be done.  

And trusting that the Lord has great things ahead for you!

My life has been forever change because of the people I have met in the last year!!  Lindale has some very amazing people that I am thankful that I have been able to be apart of their lives.